The Online Dating Journal |
By Anita P. Miller |
www.theonlinedatingjournal.com
The purpose of
this list is to provide a general guide for online dating safety. The author
will be neither liable nor responsible to any person or entity with respect to
any loss, damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly,
by the information contained in this list.
1. Trust Your Gut Instinct
Your instinct is a powerful medium for knowing when something doesn't feel
right. As you read profiles, responses to emails, have phone conversations, and
meet in person your instincts help tell you if something is "right" or if
something is out of alignment. The "out of alignment" message is your cue to be
careful, back off, or proceed with extreme caution. Trust your gut instinct,
it's the most powerful psychological tool you have at your disposal.
Demonstrate
Patience/Don’t Move too Fast!!! Watch out for someone who
seems too good to be true, look for odd behavior or inconsistencies. The person
at the other end may not be who or what he or she says. If anything makes you
uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
2. Don't Provide Personal Information Too Soon
Your home phone number and full name provide easy ways to track who you are and
where you live. Armed with just your home phone number, a person can easily gain
access to your income information, home address, and even learn the value of
your home. Armed with your first and last name, a person can do searches to
determine quite a bit of information on you - where you work, etc. So in the
initial stages of communication, guard your personal information. As far as
phone communication, see tip #3.
3. Use a Free Email Account
If you decide to move your communication from the anonymous email feature
provided by the majority of online dating services then provide an email address
that isn't your regular one. Sign up for a free Yahoo! or Hotmail account that
you use just for online dating. Don't put your full name in the From field -
only your first name or something else. This protects you from a person being
able to search your normal email address to find more information about you.
4. Use a Cell Phone or Anonymous Phone Service to Chat
When it's time to move your communication to the next level (talking on the
phone), never give out your home phone number. Either provide a cell phone
number to communicate, or use an anonymous phone service. It's just an added
protection barrier until you get to know the person better.
5. Avoid Married People
It's unfortunate, but a lot of married people do use online dating services.
They'll even go as far as to meet people. Reports have found that up to 30% of
people using online dating services are married! Ask questions and a gain, use
your instincts.
6. Look for Questionable Characteristics in Your Communication
As you chat via email and on the phone you may be able to start to pick out
characteristics of the other person. Are they controlling? Do they seem to anger
easily? Do they avoid some of your questions? These can be questionable
characteristics that tell you it's time to move on.
7. Ask for a Recent Photo
There's nothing wrong in asking someone if their photos are recent. If they
don't have a photo, request a recent one. It's important for you to get a good
look at the person you may eventually meet. Plus, if they tell you the photo is
recent and you meet and see a major difference, then you'll know the person lied
and can cut the date short.
8. Stick With Paid Online Dating Services
Free online dating services provide a greater opportunity for potentially
dangerous individuals. They don't ever have to provide a credit card or other
information that identifies them. There is some truth to the saying, "you get
what you pay for".
9. Don't Get a False Sense of Security
Some online dating services claim to offer "background checks" and when signing
up for such a service you may find it easier to let your guard down. Don't. Laws
differ from state-to-state when it comes to background checks and there are even
several states where checks can't be effectively performed. Because of the
inconsistency, criminals/wrong doers can and do get into services that do
"background checks". Never let your guard down.
10. Meet in a Public Place for Your First Meeting
When it's time to schedule that first exciting face-to-face meeting, arrange
to meet in a public place and provide your own transportation. Your initial
meeting will tell you a lot about the other person, including whether or not
he/she lied in their profile. Your gut instincts will kick in. Never accept an
offer to be picked up at your house. Make sure that a friend knows where you are
at and who you are with. Have someone call you during the date to check in.
